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I have created a new religion. Come and join my cult.

Last posted Mar 13, 2024 at 09:17PM EDT. Added Feb 17, 2021 at 12:11PM EST
1240 posts from 21 users

C_Mill24 wrote:

There is no need to feel alarmed my brethren.

For you see, this is not an incomplete circle.

If one follows it's trajectory, one can see that each point matches up perfectly.

Clearly Mr Mill is a High Scholar sent unto us by Urlenmeyer Glass to test both our faith and knowledge of the Holey One and his works.

Unfortunately, it appears that Brother Boi will have to spend more time studying in the Librarius.

Soup King wrote:

There is no need to feel alarmed my brethren.

For you see, this is not an incomplete circle.

If one follows it's trajectory, one can see that each point matches up perfectly.

Clearly Mr Mill is a High Scholar sent unto us by Urlenmeyer Glass to test both our faith and knowledge of the Holey One and his works.

Unfortunately, it appears that Brother Boi will have to spend more time studying in the Librarius.

I feel like i'm a shame towards the Holey One. Maybe i should join Kommando_Kaijin with his cult to Shirley thing.
.
[Looks at Kaijin, who's hugging a dakimakura pillow with a drawing of Shirley pasted to it with duct tape]
.
On th other hand. What books you recommend me to read, King?

Quiet_boi wrote:

I feel like i'm a shame towards the Holey One. Maybe i should join Kommando_Kaijin with his cult to Shirley thing.
.
[Looks at Kaijin, who's hugging a dakimakura pillow with a drawing of Shirley pasted to it with duct tape]
.
On th other hand. What books you recommend me to read, King?

Well, this pamphlet covers pretty much all an entry level member needs to know.

But do not worry about it too much. As the Arch Mufti, I have been trained to perceive the Circle at both the physical and spiritual level, but such insights will also come to you in time.

My advice would be to take a drawing of the Holey One with you into one of the solitary meditation cells and consider the nature of the Undeserving Circle and your place in it's grand scheme.

A meditation aid may be of help to you in your reflections, but as I understand it, magic mushrooms are not native to your part of the world, so you will have to locate a local equivalent instead.

Soup King wrote:

Well, this pamphlet covers pretty much all an entry level member needs to know.

But do not worry about it too much. As the Arch Mufti, I have been trained to perceive the Circle at both the physical and spiritual level, but such insights will also come to you in time.

My advice would be to take a drawing of the Holey One with you into one of the solitary meditation cells and consider the nature of the Undeserving Circle and your place in it's grand scheme.

A meditation aid may be of help to you in your reflections, but as I understand it, magic mushrooms are not native to your part of the world, so you will have to locate a local equivalent instead.

Truly, truly, I say unto you, i had forgotten about this… Stupid goldfish level attention span, but don't worry. It. Wont. Happen. Again.

Squibblyskadew wrote:

Inspired by what the KYM Collector Bot has acquired, what are your faith's positions on Rick Astley, the Nevergon-na-give-you-up shape?

I say two things
.
#1: It's blessed.
.
#2: "Never gonna let you down"
.
#3: "Never gonna run around and desert you"
.
#4: "Never gonna make you cry"
.
#5: "Never gonna say goodbye"
.
#6: "Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"

peterlauhk wrote:

Devil Bannon
file:///C:/Users/chuwenbin/Desktop/M/1614757901172_.jpg

Hello.

You can't upload images straight from your hard drive into the forums or comment sections for presumably good reasons.

Because of that, you'll need to upload your image somewhere else first and then embed it back here so we can all see it.

If it's not something you want a large number of people to see, you can make a hidden post of it on Imgur and link it back here.

@Kaijin

What would Shirley say if she caught you being mean to the new guys who don't know better?

I imagine there would be much pouting of lips and sighs of disappointment.

Soup King wrote:

Hello.

You can't upload images straight from your hard drive into the forums or comment sections for presumably good reasons.

Because of that, you'll need to upload your image somewhere else first and then embed it back here so we can all see it.

If it's not something you want a large number of people to see, you can make a hidden post of it on Imgur and link it back here.

@Kaijin

What would Shirley say if she caught you being mean to the new guys who don't know better?

I imagine there would be much pouting of lips and sighs of disappointment.

Ouch. I would commit sudoku if i was Kaijin. Like, literally play sudoku.

Last edited Mar 19, 2021 at 06:29AM EDT

Soup King wrote:

Hello.

You can't upload images straight from your hard drive into the forums or comment sections for presumably good reasons.

Because of that, you'll need to upload your image somewhere else first and then embed it back here so we can all see it.

If it's not something you want a large number of people to see, you can make a hidden post of it on Imgur and link it back here.

@Kaijin

What would Shirley say if she caught you being mean to the new guys who don't know better?

I imagine there would be much pouting of lips and sighs of disappointment.

I'm not trying to be mean.

I'm expressing genuine confusion. I can't think of anything that would make embedding an image directly from your Hard Drive as much as seem possible, so I felt the need to express my confusion.

Also, Shirley would ask what a Hard Drive is. She's not very well versed in technology… she uses an IBM Thinkpad from 2003, you know.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

I'm not trying to be mean.

I'm expressing genuine confusion. I can't think of anything that would make embedding an image directly from your Hard Drive as much as seem possible, so I felt the need to express my confusion.

Also, Shirley would ask what a Hard Drive is. She's not very well versed in technology… she uses an IBM Thinkpad from 2003, you know.

How old is Shirley, btw? Is she supposed to be forever eternal? Is this like a Christ thing where she's a mortal bodily vessel to bring forth God's message to the world?

Last edited Mar 19, 2021 at 04:46PM EDT

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

I'm not trying to be mean.

I'm expressing genuine confusion. I can't think of anything that would make embedding an image directly from your Hard Drive as much as seem possible, so I felt the need to express my confusion.

Also, Shirley would ask what a Hard Drive is. She's not very well versed in technology… she uses an IBM Thinkpad from 2003, you know.

Sorry, the blank monotone voice of the interwebs has struck again.

BTW, when we're not busy feuding, do you think Shirley could help me with a problem I'm having with my Antikythera mechanism?

I've been trying to get it to run Doom, but I'm afraid all this ancient technology just confuses me horribly.

Squibblyskadew wrote:

How old is Shirley, btw? Is she supposed to be forever eternal? Is this like a Christ thing where she's a mortal bodily vessel to bring forth God's message to the world?

Ambiguously late teens (16-19). Technically since I don't like redesigning things 24/7 and can't think of a story arc for her setting that lasts longer than 2-ish years, she might as well be forever eternal because in all likeliness, I'm probably not going to do anything canon beyond a certain point unless I can come up with more ideas.

Soup King wrote:

Sorry, the blank monotone voice of the interwebs has struck again.

BTW, when we're not busy feuding, do you think Shirley could help me with a problem I'm having with my Antikythera mechanism?

I've been trying to get it to run Doom, but I'm afraid all this ancient technology just confuses me horribly.

Shirley, probably not, Immundusia could definitely possess it and force it to perform feats it really shouldn't be capable of, but if you don't want to fill the room with exhaust fumes in the process you might want to ask Castiellea instead. She'll probably have something in her non-euclidean library about installing digital software onto non-electronic machinery.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Shirley, probably not, Immundusia could definitely possess it and force it to perform feats it really shouldn't be capable of, but if you don't want to fill the room with exhaust fumes in the process you might want to ask Castiellea instead. She'll probably have something in her non-euclidean library about installing digital software onto non-electronic machinery.

And if everything fails he should switch it off and then on again. Right?

Soup King wrote:

Sorry, the blank monotone voice of the interwebs has struck again.

BTW, when we're not busy feuding, do you think Shirley could help me with a problem I'm having with my Antikythera mechanism?

I've been trying to get it to run Doom, but I'm afraid all this ancient technology just confuses me horribly.

Also. Which Doom? You mean Doom 1 or Doom 2016? Because if it is Doom 2016 then you may want to install a new video card. I use a busted GTX 550 TI and that game runs just fine with pretty much everything on low settings, just don't play for too long because you may overheat it.

Jazz Wizard wrote:

Circle Superior.
Other shapes Inferior.

Ah, another Brother and/or Sister has joined our humble congregation.

I didn't even have to use the Converse of Conversion. Most excellent.

Jazz Wizard wrote:

Circle Superior.
Other shapes Inferior.

Say, that was easy, no beating required…. For the love of the Holey one, try not to lewd the Holey Circle itself. I know what you usually upload to the gallery.

Quiet_boi wrote:

Say, that was easy, no beating required…. For the love of the Holey one, try not to lewd the Holey Circle itself. I know what you usually upload to the gallery.

Why would I commit that heresy?
Besides my SFW upload count far outweighs my NSFW gallery upload count.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Hey, you're the one that conjured this cursed abomination into existence.

Is that your OC? It was last time i checked. Also i know it looks bad……… That's it, it looks bad but don't worry, i already punished myself for doing it.

Quiet_boi wrote:

Is that your OC? It was last time i checked. Also i know it looks bad……… That's it, it looks bad but don't worry, i already punished myself for doing it.

She may be my OC, but that's your meme last time I checked.

…And as The Grand Dalai-Imam-Archpope-General-Cheif-Minister Of The Church Of Shirley, I'm declaring that meme Heresy.

Mr. Croat wrote:

Is it less heretical than Mormonism?

Why of course!

As an entirely separate faith to Christianity, we in the Cult of the Circle view Mormons, and all other sects and faiths, as apostates who will eventually return to the Holey One's embrace once they have realised the error of their ways.

Quiet_boi wrote:

As we say here down south of the U.S. : What is promised it's always a debt… And i hate debts.

Brother Boi, dost thou mindst if I were to share this with the rest of the profligates on this communal meme site?

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Heretics? You Circle Cultists are the Heretics!

Don't make me summon a horror or two from the beyond to dispatch your cult's madness!

But Number 14's already here?

Surely, if thou were as wise as thou claims to be, you would merely go down stairs and ask for his assistance instead of forfeiting either your or another followers soul to teleport him less than a 100 yards.

Soup King wrote:

But Number 14's already here?

Surely, if thou were as wise as thou claims to be, you would merely go down stairs and ask for his assistance instead of forfeiting either your or another followers soul to teleport him less than a 100 yards.

Oh, I don't need souls! And I've got better than Number 14!

Cracks knuckles and stands ready.

Do you heretics really have a death wish?

Well considering I have 4 demi-gods, a nigh infinite army of quasi-soulless robots that can almost be conscripted into an acceptable military force and one red-headed tomboy intern as my own personal forces, as well as this THICC Boi right here:



I feel the casualties will be worth it in entertainment value alone.

(Dons T-pose of Dominance)

"Bring it on, knave!"

Last edited Apr 19, 2021 at 03:48PM EDT

As the first acolyte of this glorious church, i am willing to give up my life along with the structural integrities of the Soup King robo-army. So long as i am blessed by the great circumference of the Holey One, a kiss in the cheek by that red headed tomboy intern, the backup of my robotic compatriots (Specially #96, i hold no grudges, really trust me) and the extra blessing of Saint Axel of the Giant Wheels i have nothing to fear.

I have been waiting for this! Bring it on!
And, YES! I am going to be the jerk who brings up a katana to a medieval fight.

Oh and don't worry about my Memri TV meme, King. It's already in the gallery

Last edited Apr 19, 2021 at 05:25PM EDT

Very well then! You have all sealed your fate! This day shall become the last you walk this Earth!

Behold! My power!

Cue overly long transformation sequence as this music plays.

Kommando, already in his rip-off Terminator armor, lifts one leg into the air and slams it to the floor, putting him into a squat. Immediately then, many of his OCs appeared from seemingly nowhere and were dragged towards him. Nobody could quite see what was happening but Kommando appeared to be getting larger and he and his OCs could be heard screaming and shouting curses to their enemies and praises to Shirley. The shaking then stopped…

"HHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!"

"I… AM… DEATH!!! I AM… HHRRRGNGNGN… AGONY!!! I… WILL… EVISCERATE YOU!!! RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAUUUUUGGHGHGHGHGH!!!!"

Kommando opened by teleporting into the middle of several of Soup King's robots and swinging his chainsaw arm, turning many of them into mutilated chunks.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! RUUUNN!!! RUUUUUAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

He then followed it with a barrage of fire from the various weapons growing out of his other arm. More of Soup King's robot army were obliterated and vaporized by the power of Kommando's hideous new form.

Off to the corner in a safe place stood Shirley, watching the fight. Castiellea loomed over her, making sure nothing came too close.

"Go Kommando! You can do it!" Shirley cheered.

Kommando kicked a wound Soup King Robot that was trying to crawl away, his bladed boot slicing it into several pieces as the force of his kick scatter them to the wind. He then straightened his back, slammed his fist together a few times and shouted out to his foes in not just his own mechanical, distorted voice, but with the voices of the OCs that made up his form as well:

"ARE YOU ENTERTAINED YET!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHH!!!!"

Squibblyskadew wrote:

OOOOOOOOOooooooohh boy! It be a Holy War down 'ere!

(At least I myself am "safe" in purgatory)

Kommando suddenly gazes into the air above him as if called by something from inaudible, he then raises his arms above him…

"Squibblyskadew… Return to us!" He declared.

Kommando then plunged his claws into the ground in front of him and pulled a reanimated Squibblyskadew from the rubble. He then sat the newly revived user on the floor and resumed attacking the Circle Cult members.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Kommando suddenly gazes into the air above him as if called by something from inaudible, he then raises his arms above him…

"Squibblyskadew… Return to us!" He declared.

Kommando then plunged his claws into the ground in front of him and pulled a reanimated Squibblyskadew from the rubble. He then sat the newly revived user on the floor and resumed attacking the Circle Cult members.

Okay, first of all: BITCH, YOU COULD DO THAT THE ENTIRE TIME?! You realize the agony I've gone through aimlessly wandering as an apparition through the cold aether?!
Secondly, OH GOD OH FUCK I GOTTA GET TO SOME-FUCK-WHERE SAFE NOW!! There's a Holy War down here! D:

Last edited Apr 20, 2021 at 04:17AM EDT

Squibblyskadew wrote:

Okay, first of all: BITCH, YOU COULD DO THAT THE ENTIRE TIME?! You realize the agony I've gone through aimlessly wandering as an apparition through the cold aether?!
Secondly, OH GOD OH FUCK I GOTTA GET TO SOME-FUCK-WHERE SAFE NOW!! There's a Holy War down here! D:

"Oh, I didn't know you were dead until now!" The hulking mass of armor and flesh said.

Kommando then locked his stare onto where Soup King, Quiet_Boy and some strange red-haired woman he hadn't seen before were stand and began slashing, hacking and blasting his way towards them through the masses of Soup King Robots.

"HRRRRRRAUGH! KILL!!! MURDER!!!! MUTILATE!!!!!! RRRRRRRAAAAAAUUUGHAGHAGHAHGA!!!"

Don't worry, King. I have a plan… But it's nasty… May the Holey One forgive me.
[Picks up a small random rock from the ground]
[Tosses it at Shirley]
[The rock hits Shirley in the head]
[She starts crying]
[Kaijin runs towards her and tries to comfort her]
That's just part one of my plan… I'll have to think something good for part two… If we get to live that long.

The rock disappears right as it is about to hit Shirley, only to reappear in the same instant and hit Quiet_boi instead. Kommando boasts a hearty laugh before explaining:

"YOU IMBECILES!!!! SHIRLEY IS KARMICALLY PROTECTED!!! SHE'S SO CUTE AND INNOCENT THAT IF ANYONE TRIES TO HURT HER, THEY GET HURT BY THEIR OWN ACTIONS INSTEAD!!! HAUHAUHAUAHAUHAU-RAUUUUUAAAAAAAAAGGHGHGHGHGHG!!!"

Kommando then resumed his charge towards Soupk King and Quiet_boi. Launching, trampling and bludgeoning anything in his path.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

The rock disappears right as it is about to hit Shirley, only to reappear in the same instant and hit Quiet_boi instead. Kommando boasts a hearty laugh before explaining:

"YOU IMBECILES!!!! SHIRLEY IS KARMICALLY PROTECTED!!! SHE'S SO CUTE AND INNOCENT THAT IF ANYONE TRIES TO HURT HER, THEY GET HURT BY THEIR OWN ACTIONS INSTEAD!!! HAUHAUHAUAHAUHAU-RAUUUUUAAAAAAAAAGGHGHGHGHGHG!!!"

Kommando then resumed his charge towards Soupk King and Quiet_boi. Launching, trampling and bludgeoning anything in his path.

Ouch. Thankfully i picked a small rock.
Ok. Plan B it is
[Whips out a voodoo doll made to Kaijin's resemblance and starts stabbing it with a fork in the groin]

Kommando continues unfazed, as his belief in Shirley protects against magical attacks. Kommando successfully reached the trio and knocks them through the wall and outside onto the highway. Kommando is now face to face with Soup King, Quiet_boi and Soup King's tomboy intern.

"HAHAHAHHAAHHAHA!!!! CIRCLE CULTISTS, WELCOME TO DIE!!!!! RUUUUAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!*

Kommando begins firing again, with every stray round wreaking havoc and carnage on whatever they hit.

So as I started making this just as Quiet_boi was playing with dolls in a manly, manly fashion, I'm afraid everything that happened after it is not canon.

Why?

Because I made a 17mb comic strip, that's why.

(Blows Raspberries)

As always, image links back to full-sized version:



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