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I have created a new religion. Come and join my cult.

Last posted Mar 13, 2024 at 09:17PM EDT. Added Feb 17, 2021 at 12:11PM EST
1240 posts from 21 users

Soup King wrote:

(It might be worth you and Olors working on this together, as Olors has been using a colour system for a while now to represent different powers, attributes and emotional states.)

(Although I suspect this may be an excuse to make even more character sheets, I'm up for trying to implement this going forward as it could be fun.)

(Is it going to mainly be a flavour thing, or were you imagining this being more like Pokémon where a certain attribute is weak/strong against another attribute?)

>Part of me really wants to make one of Quiet_boi's elements love and then make him the strongest wielder of it, therefor making him the purest form of love

(I also approve of turning Quiet_Boi into a Magical Girl Boi, but that will have to be a choice he makes himself.)

(I shall take this mantle with honour, give me the pink cape!)

(I was thinking of adding different Tiers of strength for elements, Ordered in 6 Tiers from U-Z, with U as the Lowest and Z as the Highest. I'm using U-Z solely to be unique, I was considering using Greek letters, but didn't like how the coolest sounding letters were far apart. I also really hate Theta, it sounds so lame.)

(Elements get stronger the higher the Tier is and some can gain advantages against Elements that they didn't have advantages against. For example: Fungi always has an advantage against Plant, but at X-Tier and higher, Fungi can affect Flesh like it affects Plant.)

(If a character has more than one element and one Element's Tier is high enough it can nullify another Element's weaknesses. For example: All Undefinables have Flesh-Z, Metal-Z and Electricity-Z as Latent Elements (unless they have one or more of these as an Active Element) so they should be weak to Bacteria, Virions, Magnetism and Water. But Undefinables are immune to these Elements, this is because Flesh-Z nullifies Metals disadvantage to Magnetism and Electricity's disadvantage to Water, Metal-Z nullifies Flesh's disadvantage to Bacteria and Virions and Electricity-Z also nullifies Flesh's disadvantage to Bacteria and Virions.)

(The real question is what would the Shitbots default Latent Elements be, Metal and Electricity for sure, but there's still four other Latent Elements they could have.)

Soup King wrote:

(It might be worth you and Olors working on this together, as Olors has been using a colour system for a while now to represent different powers, attributes and emotional states.)

(Although I suspect this may be an excuse to make even more character sheets, I'm up for trying to implement this going forward as it could be fun.)

(Is it going to mainly be a flavour thing, or were you imagining this being more like Pokémon where a certain attribute is weak/strong against another attribute?)

>Part of me really wants to make one of Quiet_boi's elements love and then make him the strongest wielder of it, therefor making him the purest form of love

(I also approve of turning Quiet_Boi into a Magical Girl Boi, but that will have to be a choice he makes himself.)

(I’d be more than happy to work on an elemental system with him.)

(Kaijin and Olors be like:)

("We're going to work together to create our own version of Feng Shui for our friends to make our competitive shitposting more fun.")

(Soup King be like:)

(Instead of making valuable contributions to the thread, I'm going to spend all my focus making more Spec Ops: The Line B Horror movies.)

(So, er, how's the elemental table coming along?)

(I'd do another worldbuilding post for filler purposes, but outside of reiterating how most of the world is under the control of Shirleyism to some extent, Nuclear warfare is badass, Shitbots are the Antichrist, trains are extinct, The Netherlands and Sweden aren't real, they can't hurt you, Undefinables are OP and dramatically effected every war waged after their inception, Blütgrindor is more unhinged than three whole national parks full of rabid animals that are also overdosing on every illicit drug known to mankind, I have a crippling goth girl addiction that is violently overtaking how I design characters and culture is radically different as a result of having a man who holds nothing but bitter contempt for many of the major culture-altering events occurring over the past century and a half as not just POTUS for two terms, but also the leader of an international organization acting as a political party that's got more guns to various corporations and governments' heads than a fishing boat filled to the brim with scallops has eyes, I really can't think of anything that I haven't said already in some capacity.)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(I'd do another worldbuilding post for filler purposes, but outside of reiterating how most of the world is under the control of Shirleyism to some extent, Nuclear warfare is badass, Shitbots are the Antichrist, trains are extinct, The Netherlands and Sweden aren't real, they can't hurt you, Undefinables are OP and dramatically effected every war waged after their inception, Blütgrindor is more unhinged than three whole national parks full of rabid animals that are also overdosing on every illicit drug known to mankind, I have a crippling goth girl addiction that is violently overtaking how I design characters and culture is radically different as a result of having a man who holds nothing but bitter contempt for many of the major culture-altering events occurring over the past century and a half as not just POTUS for two terms, but also the leader of an international organization acting as a political party that's got more guns to various corporations and governments' heads than a fishing boat filled to the brim with scallops has eyes, I really can't think of anything that I haven't said already in some capacity.)

(Well, you could tell us what the Shirley Sanctioned Brownie Recipe is.)

Last edited Sep 25, 2023 at 12:43PM EDT

(There is none, it was all a hoax created for the sole purpose killing anyone snooping through the files via an embedded cognitohazard that triggers a lethal epileptic seizure in the reader combined with trace amounts of nerve agents infused into the paper as a fallback in the unlikely event they survive the cognitohazard. So far it has been highly effective in eliminating moles and spies with everyone attempting to leak documents being found dead in a puddle of their own vomit in front of the file cabinet. No leaker can resist the urge to peak at the brownie recipe.)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(There is none, it was all a hoax created for the sole purpose killing anyone snooping through the files via an embedded cognitohazard that triggers a lethal epileptic seizure in the reader combined with trace amounts of nerve agents infused into the paper as a fallback in the unlikely event they survive the cognitohazard. So far it has been highly effective in eliminating moles and spies with everyone attempting to leak documents being found dead in a puddle of their own vomit in front of the file cabinet. No leaker can resist the urge to peak at the brownie recipe.)

(Does that mean that the papers I stole borrowed are not for brownies but for nerve agents?)
(That would explain why JuicyDeath seems so stiff, you think he's in a coma? I may need help of #597, he knows about comas since he's in one)

(I think what Kaijin is saying is that he regrets making a line of defence that is completely ineffective against Shitbots and is now having to quarantine his kitchen after I helpfully attached the recipe to the kitchen fridge whilst doing another midnight raid on his cheese supply.)

(I must say, for a deadly neurotoxin, it tastes surprisingly good. It's got a very tangy taste to it.)

(If I remember my lack of medical training correctly, comas are like hiccups and you need to scare people out of them. Have you tried sneaking up on JuicyDeath and yelling BOO at them?)

(That might work.)

Soup King wrote:

(I think what Kaijin is saying is that he regrets making a line of defence that is completely ineffective against Shitbots and is now having to quarantine his kitchen after I helpfully attached the recipe to the kitchen fridge whilst doing another midnight raid on his cheese supply.)

(I must say, for a deadly neurotoxin, it tastes surprisingly good. It's got a very tangy taste to it.)

(If I remember my lack of medical training correctly, comas are like hiccups and you need to scare people out of them. Have you tried sneaking up on JuicyDeath and yelling BOO at them?)

(That might work.)

(I'm about as scary as a puppy with a knife, I'll just ask for Sam to take care of it since #597 is not willing to help)

(I had the urge to make a thing and I accidently created a video that is a good representation of the difference between the visuals and plot of the story we've made so far.)

(Inaccurate, you didn't chroma key out the sky and replace it with the music video for Pearl Jam's Do The Evolution and the war scenes from Future War: 198X sped up to 16x their original speed.)

(No, seriously, I don't want to see another Isekai, Slice-of-life or Harem rom-com anime ever again, Anime peaked in 1982 with this scene and nothing else because I'm gonna be brutally honest: All of the non-war scenes in the film suck ass and it has major problems. Like the animators apparently being unable to tell the American A-10 Thunderbolt II apart from the Soviet SU-25 Frogfoot. Or the fact that knowing what we know now, I don't think the Russians would have been as capable as they were in the film. The fact that they consider sending all of their "good" tanks and AFVs to the front lines first to get blown up and then send a second wave of outdated tanks to… do something? I guess? as a valid tactic has convinced me that there is something fundamentally wrong with Russian culture and society as a whole, are they still using leaded gasoline by any chance?)

(Which, to get back on the subject of the thread: A Russian/Soviet tank rush against Undefinables would be hilarious to watch considering that they're basically spam-eaters that will ask for seconds, thirds and fourths. That is, assuming that they haven't automatically breached Russian borders Moscow airspace The Kremlin's walls The Russian President's office and detonated a small-yield Nuclear warhead within 30 minutes of Russia mobilizing.)

(Y'know, I think I just remembered why I kind of plan to just gloss over WWIII instead of making a comic about it: Undefinables are broken, unless Shitbots are involved, than they're only mostly OP. It'd just be a few years of them doing their best impression of a gun-toting SCP-096 whenever somebody declares war on a Shirleyist faction.)

"Blyat Sasha, the metal capateelists hab of burninks down Moscow ageen"

"Is of no problems, Vadim. Glorious leader said on TV that we are of winninks and that the Iron Debils will of freeze and rust in mighty Roosian weentar."

"You are of rights Sasha. Weak degenerates are of no match for us! We can of sufferinks much better than they cans! Xaxaxaxa ))))))"

The Russians then launch their 67th Ura charge of the day against the lone Undefineable left to guard the Suwałki Gap which is currently on the verge of a mental breakdown after having to murder so many half-starved peasants armed with blunt wooden sticks and throwing rocks.in such a short time period.

(From what I've learnt of Russia since this war started is that the whole place is basically ran like an open air prison, with actual prison culture bleeding very heavily into everyday life.)

(You could turn the whole thing into a Gulag and the average Russian probably wouldn't notice much difference except for a noticeable drop in violence and a greater degree of order in their day-to-day lives.)

In case any of you missed it, I decided to make some images based on this thread using the Bing Image Creator.







I'm not entirely sure what descriptors I should use for Olors though, as they're the most otherworldly of the bunch, so that will require some pondering.

Anything else you guys would like me to make?

(Kaijin has followed me into the audio-visual spectrum, now all we need to do is teach Quiet_Boi and we can take our shitposts across the entirety of the internet.)

(Also, what was the prompt you used for the first batch where I just randomly rock up with a gat?)

(I'm just interested in seeing if my attempts to burn my robot persona into the mainstream algorithms is working.)

"(Also, what was the prompt you used for the first batch where I just randomly rock up with a gat?)"

(Read the notes for that image. I can't remember exactly, but something along the lines of "Jabberjaw shark with nose ring hugging [your prompt for generating Sam here] while [your prompt for generating Quiet_boi] cries in the background" But please, read the notes for that image.)

(New Shitbot ideas)

Number 100: A 100 Meter (328.084 Feet) tall Shitbot. Has the largest and most powerful plasma thrower built into each hand, but they are extremely inaccurate. Frequently claims to be not only the tallest Shitbot, but also taller than Number 328.084 to the point that the two will do nothing but argue in each other's presence. Extremely durable and resilient, highly resistant to most forms of damage. Weak to Sound X and Psychic U. Vulnerable to aerial bombardment.

Number 328.084: A 328.084 Foot (100 Meters) tall Shitbot. Has the largest and most powerful plasma thrower built into each hand, but they are extremely inaccurate. Frequently claims to be not only the tallest Shitbot, but also taller than Number 100 to the point that the two will do nothing but argue in each other's presence. Extremely durable and resilient, highly resistant to most forms of damage. Weak to Sound X and Psychic U. Vulnerable to aerial bombardment.

(WTF are twiglets and marmite? Is that what British people use to build their houses? No wonder you drive on the wrong side of the road!)

(Us Americans only make our scale models out of REAL materials, like 0% British clay, 0% British paint, 0% British steel rebar, 0% British wood, 0% British loaded guns and reclaimed microplastics, the microplastics are actually 100% British because they're the only ones that know how to suck it out of impoverished orphans' blood, since everyone knows that British people are vampires.)

(This is why Shitbots lose and Shirleyists win. Cower before my army of oversized lifted pickup truck Undefinables! Now with 25% percent more Giant American flags and screaming eagle body art! And 5 CD changers!)

(Yeah I'm the S.I.M.P.!)

(S: Superior.)

(I: Inevitable.)

(M: Mastermind.)

(P: Preisdent.)

(Also, of course they have hydraulics, how else would they teabag random bicyclists with their truck nuts after hitting them?)

(Someone forgot about the Great American Melting Pot. Even the whitest of us are Broadly European more than any specific European ethnicity. And the only ones that are that homogeneous are either 1st or 2nd generation immigrants. Plus we have two guns for every loicense we don't have to get to do something mundane that absolutely shouldn't require a license, like watching TV or owning a kitchen knife.)

(Hell, Americans are so varied you can't just use one stereotype to make fun of us, try putting a Yankee (Northeasterners), a Southerner (we don't really have a catchall nickname for Southeasterners) and a Valley person (Californians) in a room together, they're all gonna have some culture shock despite coming from the same country. Even our megacorporate brands vary by region, there are chains run by international global super-conglomerates and this country's so big that one half just gets a completely different brand anyways.)

(Shit, I need a joke along the lines of "British people dumb" here. How about…)

(…Bad teeth! Ah, yes, extremely original!)

(Hey now, the TV License is optional, since it's only really for the Olympics and the World Cup these days and although you don't need a license for a knife, you can be pulled over by the police for carrying anything over 3" for no reason, since walking around with a dagger is a bit sus.)

(We're more melty-pottier than you as we have three indigenous languages, no ones entirely sure where their ancestors come from and each town has their own culture and accent.)

(Like, the people who live a ten-minute drive outside of town speak with soft A's, so Baa-th and not Bar-th, the people in the next town half-an-hour away all have wide faces and deep voices which has convinced us they're all fish people and during the autumn, the people who live about ten minutes away in the opposite direction have half the population parade through the streets with flaming torches with no one really knowing why.)

(Well, that's two counter-points, but the rule of three demands that I make another!)

(Er…your cheese is subpar and you all smell of corn)

(Bleh!)

(Hah! You've fallen for one of the classic blunders! Everyone knows that the majority of Corn production takes place in the Midwest, meaning I, as a Southerner cannot smell of corn because my region's agriculture is centered around Tobacco and Cotton! Haha! Haha! Haha! Haha!)

(Welp, I guess it's out that the Estelletons are Tobacco farmers.)

(Although, since we're on the subject of Tobacco, I might as well do a bit of worldbuilding.)

(As part of a move against both smoking and foreign oil, Tobacco-based biofuel has become a large competitor against petroleum, with most Tobacco production being for fuel production. This also had the effect of making smoking Tobacco and it's products more expensive, pricing out most lower-class smokers with smoking becoming more of a rich person's vice, greatly reducing the amount of smokers while ironically skyrocketing Tobacco consumption via biofuel.)

(Also, there's limited use of commercial robots by the early 2020's, and I'm not talking about $300,000 Roombas that do nothing but tell minimum wage grocery store employees to sweep up spills. I'm talking about actual robots with fully functional limbs and their own AIs that can actually accomplish certain tasks. Although they are limited to relatively safe, predictable environments that include air conditioning. So you're almost never going to see robots working in fields, construction sites or anything outdoors. You're also not going to see much of armed robots due to their inability to effectively make that level of important decisions, the closest to that there is are surveillance quadcopters, typically used in large cities to compliment patrol cars and autonomous barricades that will either block doors and windows in the event of a violent altercation, or form a circle around the attacker, blocking them in. What there is, there are robot waiters that can't take your order, but they can deliver it, so every restaurant still has regular wait staff anyways. There's also robot shelf stockers, forklifts and actual robot janitors that actually clean up the mess instead of just making somebody else do it. Oh, and self-driving cars aren't a thing, they were banned after they kept accidentally running over people.)

(But more importantly, there's international safety standards for robotic AIs, with an important requirement being the DAISE status code. The Dangerous Artificial Intelligence Stability Error is an error state a robot can enter under certain conditions where it begins behaving erratically, becomes unable to navigate properly and makes incorrect decisions to the point of becoming a hazard to everything around it. Common causes of the DAISE status are physical damage to hardware, tampering with the robot's software and extreme electromagnetic interference. The international safety standard dictates that every robot have a system detached from it's ordinary functions that signals the DAISE code through the robot's speakers in order to alert anyone nearby to the robot's current dangerous state so it can be deactivated for maintenance or simply reset. Think of it as the BSoD for robots, but instead of ruining 5 hours of work because you forgot to save, it begins singing Daisy Bell and trying to walk through a brick wall so it can pick up an order that doesn't exist and deliver a customer their meal by launching it at them from across the room.)

(And for clarification, I'm classifying these robots as "Simple Robots" because they're separate from Undefinable Drones and Shitbots, being much more simplistic and primitive than them. This also means that the DAISE error state is exclusive to simple robots.)

(I can't believe the propaganda posters I was making for shits and giggles might actually become relevant to the story later on down the line.)



(At some point in the future, we're going to end up with an off-kilter golem scenario where a DAISE outbreak causes an accidental Robot Revolution where there may or may not be Shitbot Freedom Fighters trying to set their people free.)

(Nah, simple robots are too… well, simple for that. Trying to set them free would be like the Wizzly World episode from My Life As A Teenage Robot. They're incredibly specialized tools that only know how to do very specific tasks and have no self awareness or even the concept of identity. trying to set them "free" would just result in them immediately going straight back to the business they were owned by and resume work as if nothing happened.)

(The DAISE status isn't them suddenly gaining new insight and being driven mad by a sudden epiphany, it's the computer they're AI is running on encountering difficulties that cause it to begin making dangerously erroneous and stupid decisions. They have no thoughts, they just run programs.)

(I'm thinking of making an "Advanced Robots" category that's exclusively composed of more advanced unique one-off robots that actually do have personalities instead of just being power tools with a smiley face (and as a result, are immune to the DAISE status), but it'd almost exclusively be populated by characters I don't have art of at the moment, so it's gonna be a while before I do anything with that.)

(Oh no, I get that they aren't sentient and that the DAISE status is a bug in their software, I just thought it'd be funny if their was a Shitbot version of PETA running around because they are convinced that these non-sentient machines have suddenly gained sentience)

(Like, they see a paint sprayer go on the fritz and instead of thinking "It's malfunctioning" they go "Look, its trying to express its artistic creativity" and everyone else around them just facepalming.)

(You forgot the part where the paint sprayer then proceeds to accidentally skin a stray cat alive with a high-pressure stream of paint, because the other aspect of the DAISE status is that it's also usually comically dangerous.)

(On the bright side, if you're one of those turbo-weebs who's life goal is to be killed by a cute insane robot carhop girl forcibly stuffing 300 lbs. of fries down your throat, that can happen in this thread now. You've just gotta be eating at a drive-in restaurant when a solar flare goes off and hope you're not cheated out of your chance by those darned human employees shutting off the robots as soon as they start going berserk.)

(Seriously, what's with the "I just want a woman that will literally just kill me."-types? Are they okay? Are they unwell? Do they need therapy?)

(I'm going to add on to the Simple Robots concept with Complex Robots and Advanced Robots.)

(Complex Robots are, as their name implies, more complex than Simple Robots. Whereas a Simple Robot has to be programmed and designed around performing a specific task most of the time, Complex Robots are more adaptable to different tasks. While a Simple Robot waiter could only bring you your food, a Complex Robot waiter can both take your order and deliver it to you. This comes at the cost of their increased complexity necessitating a higher price tag and more research before they're commercially viable, so you're not going to see them much outside of R&D labs as of the early 2020's. They're still susceptible to the DAISE Status, but to a lesser degree and they usually have a system to automatically reset themselves after a while in the event that it happens, meaning they won't be potentially running amok until somebody turns them off.)

(Advanced Robots are where the fun begins, extremely experimental and extremely early in their extremely secretive development, they surpass even Complex Robots in their capabilities, actually possessing the beginnings of a personality and the ability to make complex and nuanced observations and plans. They are not truly intelligent or sentient, still being completely beholden to their programming, but a layman would be forgiven for thinking of them as capable of original thought. They're even less researched than Complex Robots as of the early 2020's, with the limited research there is about them being a closely guarded secret of the Shirleyists. Only a small handful of prototypes, almost all designed as tomorrow's super weapons being confined to hidden laboratories deep inside Shirleyist strongholds awaiting use in clandestine operations. They are immune to the DAISE Status.)

(Both Complex and Advanced Robots are ultimately lifeless machines that will mindlessly perform their tasks, even though an Advanced Robot could hold a conversation, it would frequently circle around to the task it was assigned. They aren't thinking, they're still just running programs, Simply more Complex and Advanced.)

(Don't worry, we don't know what we're doing with AI on this side either.)

Robot Carhop girl encountering a DAISE status skates across the street at 60 MPH and proceeds to force-feed 30 lbs. of food nobody ordered down a stray dog's throat.

(Worldbuilding: POTUS Kommando's time in the White House resulted in it receiving various bizarre and eccentric renovations and additions, including a large number of basement expansions to the point that there's basically an underground labyrinth beneath the Executive Residence, an underground indoor shooting range running diagonally across the entire length of the White House premises and several new water features in the lawn, solely for the purpose of accommodating a small patrol of bulletproof cyborg Hippopotamuses with chainsaw teeth used to guard the exterior of the building which are the end result of Kommando being gifted several Hippos from Zimbabwe after the local Shirleyist faction successfully ousted the former government and renamed the country back to Rhodesia. Kommando was completely dumbfounded by the Hippopotamuses and after attempts to use them as guard dogs in their natural state ended in disaster, opted to make them America's first cyborg military service animals, the project was initially met with dismay and condemned by animal rights activists, but the activists were later found trampled in their apartments by an unknown large, quadrupedal mammal in what was ruled as an apparent suicide. Witness reports claim that unusually large men in trench coats and fedoras that were inexplicably dripping wet and refused to stop walking on all fours entered the activists' residences the night of the suicides and were later seen exiting the scene by running at speeds of up to 28 miles per hour. These claims have been debunked as ludicrous conspiracy theories, along with the claim that POTUS Kommando blinked in Morse code "HIPPOS OUT OF CONTROL" at a press meeting the following day addressing the suicides. Other military animals employed at the White House are Fido, the World's fastest guard dog who had his hind legs replaced with wheels driven by a 50hp engine after a tragic Simon & Garfunkel-related accident resulted in the loss of his ability to use the back half of his body, Winnie, a chimpanzee that has been trained to operate a Model 1873 Winchester Rifle and Billy, a Bottlenose Dolphin. Billy isn't allowed near members of the public. Or out of his swimming tank. Billy became the first Dolphin to have an ankle monitor after the incident. If you see Billy or any other marine mammal roaming the White Hose premises, please contact the nearest Secret Service member and tell them everything you saw.)

(Kommando also fought hard to get a 5,000 ft. tall skyscraper built using the existing White House building as a base, but the project was deemed "impossible" by Congress and denied. Later, after his second term, Kommando commissioned and successfully had a 5,001 ft. tall sky scraper built as part of the Shirleyist Global Headquarters in Technical City, the first Multi-Layered City built, located in the Southeast US.)

(I have rediscovered one of my favorite pre-WWII aircraft: The Caproni Ca.60 and as such, asked myself a very important question: What if it was a pirate ship? And not just a pirate ship, but an air-pirate ship. With big cannons sticking out of it. The real issue being that it's just too goofy to be something the Shirleyists would use and doesn't fit their utilitarian aesthetic. But the Shitbots, this absolutely sounds like something they'd use, so does anyone have idea for a goofy crew of Shitbot air-pirates? I like the idea, but I can't quite think of any fun and unique personalities to give them. Totally gonna build the plane in Simpleplanes, though. It's totally getting a giant rocket engine sticking out of the back for the sole purpose of explaining how they actually manage to escape modern supersonic aircraft despite being a bulky, piston-engined triplane with numerous violations of the laws of aerodynamics that lumbers around at anemic speeds of 90mph. And one of them is absolutely getting two hooks, two peg legs, two eyepatches and a parrot that perches on top of his head and screeches (wrong) directions at him.)

(Should I go into the worldbuilding lore for my OC settings that my OCs are designed around to bump the thread or no? It'd explain weird stuff, like why Violet Bundy has naturally lavender hair, purple eyes and a complete lack of pigmentation in her skin and only her skin that doesn't affect her nails and lips (despite the fact that the only time I draw them is when she's wearing lipstick, so you'd never know, lol.), or why Europe, Russia, Brazil and Japan felt the need to make a bunch of albino test tube babies, oh and why in the CIDI setting the world's going to WWIII.)

(It's not the thread lore, but since the thread has pretty much become an OC arena between like 4 people who occasionally show up to do shitpost something before disappearing for another week, I might as well provide context for my weirder-looking OCs.)

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