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I have created a new religion. Come and join my cult.

Last posted Mar 13, 2024 at 09:17PM EDT. Added Feb 17, 2021 at 12:11PM EST
1240 posts from 21 users

Quiet_boi wrote:

You can't kill or destroy that which is beyond existance, Kaijin. Your war against the circle is futile.

Kommando leaned down onto his knees and slammed his open palms onto the ground beside the two Circle Cultists, leaving his face only an inch from theirs.

"YOU'RE GOD IS DEAD!!! DEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD!!!!" He shouted while incidentally spitting a dark, vaguely purple, yet faintly glowing viscous liquid that drooled from every tube and filter on his mask all over them.

Kommando stood back up and peering at them as if they were insects, requested:

"NOW WILL YOU JOIN ME IN THE SLAUGHTERING OF OUR MUTUAL ENEMY, THE DODECAHEDRON, OR WILL YOU PERISH!!! RRRGGG…"

Kommando loomed over them while he waited for a response, Varicella and Zoster stood behind Kommando, watching the situation.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Kommando leaned down onto his knees and slammed his open palms onto the ground beside the two Circle Cultists, leaving his face only an inch from theirs.

"YOU'RE GOD IS DEAD!!! DEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD!!!!" He shouted while incidentally spitting a dark, vaguely purple, yet faintly glowing viscous liquid that drooled from every tube and filter on his mask all over them.

Kommando stood back up and peering at them as if they were insects, requested:

"NOW WILL YOU JOIN ME IN THE SLAUGHTERING OF OUR MUTUAL ENEMY, THE DODECAHEDRON, OR WILL YOU PERISH!!! RRRGGG…"

Kommando loomed over them while he waited for a response, Varicella and Zoster stood behind Kommando, watching the situation.

Killing the dodecahedron and its followers, like any other hellspawn, is futile. If they are even capable of dying down there, they could only ascend, which is impossible for beings still bound by great evil. For creatures already being punished, they would hardly notice you dealing further punishment, for it would just be routine for them. Even if it looks like they are dying, they are simply being reborn into the fire.

As for those of us who did not meet our demise, we can still be saved. By hearing the truth in how the universe works, we would avoid evil, and incline towards the good. Though goodness can seem too general for some, finding a frame of reference to focus on is helpful, whether that be the Circle or Shirley, abstract or concrete, shape or human. Then again, humans also face the same journey, and finding those who completed it and still remain mortal is very rare.

Last edited May 04, 2021 at 05:06PM EDT

olors64 wrote:

Killing the dodecahedron and its followers, like any other hellspawn, is futile. If they are even capable of dying down there, they could only ascend, which is impossible for beings still bound by great evil. For creatures already being punished, they would hardly notice you dealing further punishment, for it would just be routine for them. Even if it looks like they are dying, they are simply being reborn into the fire.

As for those of us who did not meet our demise, we can still be saved. By hearing the truth in how the universe works, we would avoid evil, and incline towards the good. Though goodness can seem too general for some, finding a frame of reference to focus on is helpful, whether that be the Circle or Shirley, abstract or concrete, shape or human. Then again, humans also face the same journey, and finding those who completed it and still remain mortal is very rare.

Spoken like a true wiseman.

olors64 wrote:

Killing the dodecahedron and its followers, like any other hellspawn, is futile. If they are even capable of dying down there, they could only ascend, which is impossible for beings still bound by great evil. For creatures already being punished, they would hardly notice you dealing further punishment, for it would just be routine for them. Even if it looks like they are dying, they are simply being reborn into the fire.

As for those of us who did not meet our demise, we can still be saved. By hearing the truth in how the universe works, we would avoid evil, and incline towards the good. Though goodness can seem too general for some, finding a frame of reference to focus on is helpful, whether that be the Circle or Shirley, abstract or concrete, shape or human. Then again, humans also face the same journey, and finding those who completed it and still remain mortal is very rare.

(Strolls out of his work shed, carefully picks Shirley up and puts her in a safe space)

Greetings Traveller, I hope thou hast had a pleasant journey.

(Places coffee cup into Shirley's hands and turns Castiella back into a Dryad, who shall hence forth be known as Conifiella for the rest of this skit)

My brethren tell me that thou doth wish to discuss the nature of the Undeserving Circle?

I would be delighted to discuss such matters with you!

I shall go over some general points, but if thou has any more specific questions, please do ask.

The CoC has nothing to hide.

(Ducks Kaijin's wildly swinging fist and picks Conifiella up by her legs at the same time.)

I believe thou wished to know where the Holey One resides, yes?

A question asked by many scholars of many faiths with many answers, all right, but not necessarily correct.

On a spiritual level, the Undeserving Circle's presence can be found in the hearts and minds of all of those who truly believe.

It is through this connection that we can commune with the Holey One.

Where our Lord is on the physical level is harder to ascertain, as the Underserving Circle travels to where they are needed most and avatars in the Holey One's image are often sent to aid those in need during their most darkest of hours.

(Using Conifiella as a club, I baff Kaijin in the face, flooring him)

It does not surprise me that thou has not managed to find the Holey One in your searches yet.

Although thou art looking for the right signs, there is more to the Undeserving Circle than simple geometry.

(Carelessly discards Conifiella and dodges the return fire from Kaijin's goons by cartwheeling over to his prone form.)

Our Lord is a symbol of order amidst the chaos of the universe.

The Circle's form is complex in it's simplicity, having no beginning nor end. There are no deviations, no aberrations to corrupt and twist it into something other than itself.

It is creation in it's most purest of forms.

(Pulls off Kaijin's trousers, the sight causing all of his female guards and companions to faint in excitement. Shirley is spared, as she is out of sight of this.)

If you wish to commune with the Undeserving Circle, then thou must simply open one's heart to the Holey One and thou willst receive a sign.

If thou are uncomfortable with this, then I am happy to commune with the Circle on your behalf.

(Backflips over Zoster and places Kaijin's trousers over his head at the same time, causing him to pass out from a mixture of embarrassment, frustration and the smell.)

Doth thou have any more questions about the Holey One, whilst I am here?

(Takes the coffee cup back from Shirley and begins to gently sip from it whilst waiting for a reply; carefully positioning myself so that Shirley does not see Kaijin's scantily clad form.)

Last edited May 04, 2021 at 08:07PM EDT

Soup King wrote:

(Strolls out of his work shed, carefully picks Shirley up and puts her in a safe space)

Greetings Traveller, I hope thou hast had a pleasant journey.

(Places coffee cup into Shirley's hands and turns Castiella back into a Dryad, who shall hence forth be known as Conifiella for the rest of this skit)

My brethren tell me that thou doth wish to discuss the nature of the Undeserving Circle?

I would be delighted to discuss such matters with you!

I shall go over some general points, but if thou has any more specific questions, please do ask.

The CoC has nothing to hide.

(Ducks Kaijin's wildly swinging fist and picks Conifiella up by her legs at the same time.)

I believe thou wished to know where the Holey One resides, yes?

A question asked by many scholars of many faiths with many answers, all right, but not necessarily correct.

On a spiritual level, the Undeserving Circle's presence can be found in the hearts and minds of all of those who truly believe.

It is through this connection that we can commune with the Holey One.

Where our Lord is on the physical level is harder to ascertain, as the Underserving Circle travels to where they are needed most and avatars in the Holey One's image are often sent to aid those in need during their most darkest of hours.

(Using Conifiella as a club, I baff Kaijin in the face, flooring him)

It does not surprise me that thou has not managed to find the Holey One in your searches yet.

Although thou art looking for the right signs, there is more to the Undeserving Circle than simple geometry.

(Carelessly discards Conifiella and dodges the return fire from Kaijin's goons by cartwheeling over to his prone form.)

Our Lord is a symbol of order amidst the chaos of the universe.

The Circle's form is complex in it's simplicity, having no beginning nor end. There are no deviations, no aberrations to corrupt and twist it into something other than itself.

It is creation in it's most purest of forms.

(Pulls off Kaijin's trousers, the sight causing all of his female guards and companions to faint in excitement. Shirley is spared, as she is out of sight of this.)

If you wish to commune with the Undeserving Circle, then thou must simply open one's heart to the Holey One and thou willst receive a sign.

If thou are uncomfortable with this, then I am happy to commune with the Circle on your behalf.

(Backflips over Zoster and places Kaijin's trousers over his head at the same time, causing him to pass out from a mixture of embarrassment, frustration and the smell.)

Doth thou have any more questions about the Holey One, whilst I am here?

(Takes the coffee cup back from Shirley and begins to gently sip from it whilst waiting for a reply; carefully positioning myself so that Shirley does not see Kaijin's scantily clad form.)

So the Circle does not have a location.. That makes sense; there are many other things that aren't spatially defined, like time, numbers, or c o l o r s .

Knowing that the Circle represents order, I now understand why it can be recognized by the curved boundary while the middle is a space which, like the cosmos around us, is too subtle for most to perceive. For although it has many complex properties when analyzed we are still learning new things about it, it is the most simple of shapes.

From my perspective, the Holey One appears to be non-sentient, although you know it not to be the case. Try as I might, I find myself unable to commune.

retrieving signal…

..

..

no signal found

I cannot seem to open my heart, you can commune for now.

I do not have more questions. Thank you for your advice.

Last edited May 04, 2021 at 08:46PM EDT

olors64 wrote:

So the Circle does not have a location.. That makes sense; there are many other things that aren't spatially defined, like time, numbers, or c o l o r s .

Knowing that the Circle represents order, I now understand why it can be recognized by the curved boundary while the middle is a space which, like the cosmos around us, is too subtle for most to perceive. For although it has many complex properties when analyzed we are still learning new things about it, it is the most simple of shapes.

From my perspective, the Holey One appears to be non-sentient, although you know it not to be the case. Try as I might, I find myself unable to commune.

retrieving signal…

..

..

no signal found

I cannot seem to open my heart, you can commune for now.

I do not have more questions. Thank you for your advice.

Thou art most welcome, traveller.

(Goes back into his work shed, planting Conifiella directly in front of Kaijin so she's the first thing he sees when he wakes up whilst on the way.)

jamie907 wrote:

walks in carrying bags of candles
"I was told that I must buy these"

Well, Kaijin kinda destroyed a big chunk of our temple so the candles are going to have to wait.
Hand me the hammer and bag of nails, i'll get this place back in form in no time.

Varicella stood tall above her female comrades, unfazed, she had seen better, especially considering that it was merely a bunch of aberrant muscles, nerves and bones growing into armor. Quickly reacting to the strange metal man, she slammed her polearm into his gut, impaling him on the blade. She then slung him into the ground several times and proceeded to summon her brother. Zoster, thoroughly enraged by the metal man's actions, was all too eager to bludgeon him into a distorted, broken mass of metal with his maul. Varicella was surprised, Zoster, normally completely silent, actually grunted briefly while flattening the strange metal man. Feeling sadistic, Varicella loaded up Soup King Prime's remains onto a horse drawn cart they found. After a while, they entered a nearby town, carefully avoiding the motorized traffic, they wheeled the cart down a back alley until they were basked in the neon glow of their desired institution's signage. Dragging Soup King inside and dropping his heavy metal frame onto the desk, the gray-skinned woman behind it looked briefly amazed before calling for her boss. A few more gray-skinned women wearing various overalls, coveralls and jumpsuits walked in and thoroughly inspected the mechanical corpse that was being offered to their establishment. Their accents were a stark contrast to those of the town's other, more rural residents with the gray-skinned women's suggesting that they had come here from a more urbanized area.

"Ey! 'Ow much you'se askin' for dis?" One of them with a greasy mop haircut asked, evidently the owner of the business.

"Eh… say… how does $500 sound?" Varicella asked with a sly grin on her face.

"Oh, you goddit!" The gray-skinned woman chuckled, disappearing to her office and reappearing with the cash.

"…And thanks for comin' to Mop's Chop Shop!" The mop-headed woman, evidently named for her hair, said as Varicella and Zoster left with their money.

After the two knights left, the women began hauling Soup King Prime's body into their garage and onto a workbench, attracting the attention of the other gray-skinned women who were fast at work dissembling various automobiles and modifying others.

"Well, Waddaya doin'? Get bagda wark!" Mop yelled as all her employees began resuming their tasks.

"Ey, les try an' toin it on?" One of them said, zapping the crushed corpse with a pair of jumper cables. Soup King Prime's corpse twitched and spouted out a nonsensical sentence. "Ey' is dis thing Rydierish? Did dem' Rydierhalm cowahds figure out dis stuff before's us somehow's? Why's dis thing got an accent like e's gonna staht talkin' bout' tea and fish chips?"

"Staht sawwin' dis ting' open, da sooner we geddit apart an revoise-engineered, da bettah!" Mop ordered, lighting a fat cigar and smoking it while chuckling to herself.

"Dat Medmontis bibmo don' know the fuggin' billion-dollah gold brick she jus' sat down in my shop and gave me fo fucking nothin!" She chuckled out as the sound of buzzsaws filled the room and Soup King Prime's broken body was dissected and analyzed.

(Please excuse my terrible attempt at writing out a stereotypical New Jersey accent.)

Kommando stood up and returned to Hell, continuing his warpath to the Dodecahedron, but not before having the massive space ship floating above the area obliterate the city and the Circle Cult temple along with it.

Varicella and Zoster rejoined with the group, $500 richer, they knew that they were underpaid, but making decent bank wasn't their point.

"Remember, Zoster…" Varicella said. "…If some machine ever starts giving you trouble, just take it to some Industro-Nypmhs, you can always count on them to have it straightened out, for a fee, of course."

Looking over the destroyed city, the winged figure got upset, and started crying.
sniff w.. this is …
not everyone was f.. fighting. what about the civilians, the families, the.. th..

The winged figure was out of control, the tears began raining down, which turned into a storm, which turned into a flood. Amazingly, none of the survivors were drowning, for this was not a normal flood.

Eventually, he stopped crying, and the watery substance solidified. Looking and analyzing the sight, the being had an idea.

The site glowed a lime green hue, and was shielded.
Ok, the CoC should now be safe while the temple is being built.

Although Kaijin had already left to continue fighting the dodecahedonists.
I suppose it is fortunate for him that I am too kind to close the portal to trap him in there. As tough as he and his forces are, I don’t think they would be able to survive the harsh dimension which lacks water, edible food, comfort (there is only pain), shelter (the weather would destroy the material), and other amenities. This would open up the possibility that they would end up there for real, which I would never allow.
Some may ask me “why don’t you kill them?” or “what do you see in them that we don’t?” When I found out that Kaijin decided to continue his campaign, I imagined a snake eating its own tale. I analyzed the thought; I knew the sign represented the cycle of rebirth, but I was taught that.
Then it finally occurred to me: cycles are circular. This revelation sounds simple, but the implications are astounding.
The angelic figure, feeling lighter and happier than usual, quickly goes to Soup King to inform him of the vision, and also requests to join the CoC.

Last edited May 05, 2021 at 05:47AM EDT

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Varicella stood tall above her female comrades, unfazed, she had seen better, especially considering that it was merely a bunch of aberrant muscles, nerves and bones growing into armor. Quickly reacting to the strange metal man, she slammed her polearm into his gut, impaling him on the blade. She then slung him into the ground several times and proceeded to summon her brother. Zoster, thoroughly enraged by the metal man's actions, was all too eager to bludgeon him into a distorted, broken mass of metal with his maul. Varicella was surprised, Zoster, normally completely silent, actually grunted briefly while flattening the strange metal man. Feeling sadistic, Varicella loaded up Soup King Prime's remains onto a horse drawn cart they found. After a while, they entered a nearby town, carefully avoiding the motorized traffic, they wheeled the cart down a back alley until they were basked in the neon glow of their desired institution's signage. Dragging Soup King inside and dropping his heavy metal frame onto the desk, the gray-skinned woman behind it looked briefly amazed before calling for her boss. A few more gray-skinned women wearing various overalls, coveralls and jumpsuits walked in and thoroughly inspected the mechanical corpse that was being offered to their establishment. Their accents were a stark contrast to those of the town's other, more rural residents with the gray-skinned women's suggesting that they had come here from a more urbanized area.

"Ey! 'Ow much you'se askin' for dis?" One of them with a greasy mop haircut asked, evidently the owner of the business.

"Eh… say… how does $500 sound?" Varicella asked with a sly grin on her face.

"Oh, you goddit!" The gray-skinned woman chuckled, disappearing to her office and reappearing with the cash.

"…And thanks for comin' to Mop's Chop Shop!" The mop-headed woman, evidently named for her hair, said as Varicella and Zoster left with their money.

After the two knights left, the women began hauling Soup King Prime's body into their garage and onto a workbench, attracting the attention of the other gray-skinned women who were fast at work dissembling various automobiles and modifying others.

"Well, Waddaya doin'? Get bagda wark!" Mop yelled as all her employees began resuming their tasks.

"Ey, les try an' toin it on?" One of them said, zapping the crushed corpse with a pair of jumper cables. Soup King Prime's corpse twitched and spouted out a nonsensical sentence. "Ey' is dis thing Rydierish? Did dem' Rydierhalm cowahds figure out dis stuff before's us somehow's? Why's dis thing got an accent like e's gonna staht talkin' bout' tea and fish chips?"

"Staht sawwin' dis ting' open, da sooner we geddit apart an revoise-engineered, da bettah!" Mop ordered, lighting a fat cigar and smoking it while chuckling to herself.

"Dat Medmontis bibmo don' know the fuggin' billion-dollah gold brick she jus' sat down in my shop and gave me fo fucking nothin!" She chuckled out as the sound of buzzsaws filled the room and Soup King Prime's broken body was dissected and analyzed.

(Please excuse my terrible attempt at writing out a stereotypical New Jersey accent.)

Kommando stood up and returned to Hell, continuing his warpath to the Dodecahedron, but not before having the massive space ship floating above the area obliterate the city and the Circle Cult temple along with it.

Varicella and Zoster rejoined with the group, $500 richer, they knew that they were underpaid, but making decent bank wasn't their point.

"Remember, Zoster…" Varicella said. "…If some machine ever starts giving you trouble, just take it to some Industro-Nypmhs, you can always count on them to have it straightened out, for a fee, of course."

(The sound of coffee being drunk can be heard gently in the back of the cart)

"You know, I'm curious, why did you go all the way back to the city to pick up one of the Prime's corpses, just to sell it to the scrappy? It's almost a waste of the portal jump you went through to get here"

"If you needed money that badly, you could have just asked one of the many magic users there to simply summon you some, you silly geese."

(Without looking, Zoster sweeps his polearm across the back of the cart to clear out this recent robotic nonsense.)

(For a while, there is silence, before the sound of drinking coffee can be heard again.)

"You're not particularly observant are you, Zoster Kaijinson?"

(The pair turn around to properly deal with the robotic menace…but it isn't a robot)

(Kaijin's group are startled by a loud honking sound. Running to investigate, they arrive just in time to see Zoster and Varicella jumping off the cart and head first into trees whilst flapping their arms wildly.)

(Before falling unconscious, they are able to get a few words out before passing out.)

"Mask…no face….face…..no mask…"

"Winter….south….honk….eng-"

Soup King wrote:

(The sound of coffee being drunk can be heard gently in the back of the cart)

"You know, I'm curious, why did you go all the way back to the city to pick up one of the Prime's corpses, just to sell it to the scrappy? It's almost a waste of the portal jump you went through to get here"

"If you needed money that badly, you could have just asked one of the many magic users there to simply summon you some, you silly geese."

(Without looking, Zoster sweeps his polearm across the back of the cart to clear out this recent robotic nonsense.)

(For a while, there is silence, before the sound of drinking coffee can be heard again.)

"You're not particularly observant are you, Zoster Kaijinson?"

(The pair turn around to properly deal with the robotic menace…but it isn't a robot)

(Kaijin's group are startled by a loud honking sound. Running to investigate, they arrive just in time to see Zoster and Varicella jumping off the cart and head first into trees whilst flapping their arms wildly.)

(Before falling unconscious, they are able to get a few words out before passing out.)

"Mask…no face….face…..no mask…"

"Winter….south….honk….eng-"

(Varicella and Zoster have found more than what they bargained for…#14, glad to see he's sorta in our side…)
.
.
*"Well, phew!, that should do" said Quiet_boi as he finished putting the last of the candles in it's place having finished the rebuilding of the church a few hours ago "Alright" he said "where's Odor? I think it's time for him to join us and take advantage of Kaijin being busy with the Dodecaheathenists, his minions being busy with #14 and the city and it's inhabitants being resurrected and given plot inmunity"

olors64 wrote:

Looking over the destroyed city, the winged figure got upset, and started crying.
sniff w.. this is …
not everyone was f.. fighting. what about the civilians, the families, the.. th..

The winged figure was out of control, the tears began raining down, which turned into a storm, which turned into a flood. Amazingly, none of the survivors were drowning, for this was not a normal flood.

Eventually, he stopped crying, and the watery substance solidified. Looking and analyzing the sight, the being had an idea.

The site glowed a lime green hue, and was shielded.
Ok, the CoC should now be safe while the temple is being built.

Although Kaijin had already left to continue fighting the dodecahedonists.
I suppose it is fortunate for him that I am too kind to close the portal to trap him in there. As tough as he and his forces are, I don’t think they would be able to survive the harsh dimension which lacks water, edible food, comfort (there is only pain), shelter (the weather would destroy the material), and other amenities. This would open up the possibility that they would end up there for real, which I would never allow.
Some may ask me “why don’t you kill them?” or “what do you see in them that we don’t?” When I found out that Kaijin decided to continue his campaign, I imagined a snake eating its own tale. I analyzed the thought; I knew the sign represented the cycle of rebirth, but I was taught that.
Then it finally occurred to me: cycles are circular. This revelation sounds simple, but the implications are astounding.
The angelic figure, feeling lighter and happier than usual, quickly goes to Soup King to inform him of the vision, and also requests to join the CoC.

Ah, I see that thou art beginning to understand the nature of the Holey One Traveller.

Of course thou may join the Coc, for all are welcome here; be they mighty or meek, king or pauper.

Please do not cry for the city, noble friend.

Through the Good Charlotte Initiative, we have already evacuated the city in record time, hence our apparent absence as well as a lack of civilians in the area; because despite what the heathens say, we are a force of good.

Truly, if the city was destroyed, Kaijin would lose more than most, as his abode is barely a stone's throw away from ours.

We have to frequently re-build our home, so we have become quite proficient at it. Kaijin's residence is home to more…..exotic structures that took years to create and will take years to rebuild.

Do not fret over Kaijin's shenanigans, if they become too much, my agnostic brothers will reprimand him.

He is terribly weak to magic sticks, as well as dryads. He simply cannot resist all that trunk in the junk.

(Chuckles gently to himself)

So young acolyte, by what name shall you be known?

Soup King wrote:

Ah, I see that thou art beginning to understand the nature of the Holey One Traveller.

Of course thou may join the Coc, for all are welcome here; be they mighty or meek, king or pauper.

Please do not cry for the city, noble friend.

Through the Good Charlotte Initiative, we have already evacuated the city in record time, hence our apparent absence as well as a lack of civilians in the area; because despite what the heathens say, we are a force of good.

Truly, if the city was destroyed, Kaijin would lose more than most, as his abode is barely a stone's throw away from ours.

We have to frequently re-build our home, so we have become quite proficient at it. Kaijin's residence is home to more…..exotic structures that took years to create and will take years to rebuild.

Do not fret over Kaijin's shenanigans, if they become too much, my agnostic brothers will reprimand him.

He is terribly weak to magic sticks, as well as dryads. He simply cannot resist all that trunk in the junk.

(Chuckles gently to himself)

So young acolyte, by what name shall you be known?

How does "The Tangential Telepath" sound?

jamie907 wrote:

the first acolyte nods and whispers into the High Priest ear "the temple and buildings have been rebuilt sir"

Excellent news, Acolyte Jamie!

(Gives you a Gold Star of Supreme Merit)

Tell Brother Boi that he is allowed three cervezas this day.

Kommando's army had gotten closer and closer to the Dodecahedron, they had carved a path of destruction through the realm and slaughtered countless horrors. Nothing could get in their way.

"RRRRRGGHHH!!! BLOOD WILL WASH OVER THIS LAND!!!" Kommando shouted as he blasted a group of Dodecahedronists to oblivion with the lightning cannon growing out of his arm.

Jamie knocks on the door of Brother boi and says: "Brother boi, are you there? There's something i have to tell you" "Of course" responds Quiet_boi, Jamie enters Brother boi's room decorated with a modern, yet welcoming aspect, Brother boi speaks: "So, what is it Jamie?" to which Jamie responds, "Priest King says that you can have three cervezas today" "Really? awesome" says Brother boi "Oh, i have to make them count, follow me" Very quickly Quiet_boi places a reclinable beach chair and three bottles of Lone Star beer in a table next to him, along with a boombox, he sits on the chair, puts on some sunglasses and says "Hit the play button, Acolyte" Jamie respond "Got it" then the song "House Music" by Eddie Amador plays, Quiet_boi speaks: "you hanging out or what?" "sure" responds Jamie and after the first sip of his alchoholic brevage Quiet_boi suddently looks more "tipsy" "Jamie" he says "J-Jamie, have i ever told you how much of a g-good bishounen you make? You must get a lot of ffujoshis on ya" dumbfounded, Jamie can only respond with an akward "Ehh" before Quiet_boi takes another sip and gets more drunk, "I – if Sam wasn't our e – equivalent to Virgin Mary she would toootaly be on cha' he he" Quiet_boi takes one more sip, before passing out he says "yu ar da cuul he he he" [passes out for excess of alchohol]

"Hey, Number 1?"

"Yes, Number 2?"

"This beer we've been brewing is 80% proof, can humans drink that?"

"Eh, they drink jet fuel and that's only 10% more, so I think it should be fine."

Last edited May 05, 2021 at 04:50PM EDT

So just a quick update on the Ugandan Knuckles timeline.

There has been a very minor disaster where the image editor I was using crashed, losing all of the pre-edited scenes and parts I was using.

I was hoping to get this done today, but it might have to wait until Friday now.

Quiet_boi wrote:

I have been waiting for that giant mech fight against Kaijin since december. I can wait until sunday if necessary.

Although there is a battle with Kaijin, it's not that.

That is going to be a Dora the Explorer parody interwoven with copy-pasta.

What I'm making right now actually has drama and tension and actual narrative shit in it.

Loike ah proppa storeh!

Soup King wrote:

Although there is a battle with Kaijin, it's not that.

That is going to be a Dora the Explorer parody interwoven with copy-pasta.

What I'm making right now actually has drama and tension and actual narrative shit in it.

Loike ah proppa storeh!

…And I'll probably ruin it, or at the very least, complicate it by throwing in a new OC or maybe even a new form my avatar/self-insert OC…

Because God forbid I don't make myself even more OP, I might as well just make a post where I reveal the world to actually be a ROM hack of Gotcha Force and end up spamming the 20th Force Glitch to give my army dupes of my OCs, myself, my alternate forms and even "unplayable" characters like other users and The Undeserving Circle and The Deceitful Dodecahedron.

Whistles nonchalantly.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Oh my God, I just realized that the Anti-Circle was the Deceitful Dodecagon and not the Dodecahedron.

God fucking Dammit.

A common mistake made by those who haven't been truly blessed by the Circle, but merely just glanced opon by it. Maybe if you weren't always in a blinding roid rage you wouldn't have been blind enough to not only destroy the entire town, but also realize when "OP" is too OP. You are way beyond TF2 Sandman on release levels of OP and being silly is the only way to contain you.

To clarify, a dodecahedron is a 3-D object composed of 12 pentagons.

The Deceitful Dodecagon, the Anti-Circle, is a 2-D, 12-sided shape that is not only an atrocious approximation of a circle, but also, like most -gon shapes, is useless.

Unlike 2-D space, in 3 dimensions, the number of ideal (if you call any arrangement of inferior shapes "ideal") shapes is not infinite, leaving less room for deception. The faces on the surface are exactly the same shape and size. Unfortunately, spheres do not fit this definition, which is why there is only the Undeserving Circle, which has the greatest possible number of sides, and no such honor befits 3-D spheres, 4-D hyperspheres, or any other higher-dimensional object. A dodecahedron cannot be a substitute, and neither can the far scarier icosahedron (20 triangled solid), which although closer to a sphere and more symmetrical, is made up of shapes with even sharper (worse) angles than pentagons, making it even more nefarious than a dodecahedron.

Although the 3-dimensional world is a crazy place, it still contains 2-dimensional realms; however, the human eye has a much better grasp on 2-dimensions (it can't see things that are obstructed by the foreground).

Last edited May 06, 2021 at 09:18AM EDT

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Oh my God, I just realized that the Anti-Circle was the Deceitful Dodecagon and not the Dodecahedron.

God fucking Dammit.

It seems like it's

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deceived you.

Last edited May 06, 2021 at 12:36PM EDT

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Kommando, realizing the need to be active on two fronts, immediately begins plotting and planning. Who would he send to handle the task of fighting foes elsewhere?

Yeah, good luck with that, now you have to worry about the Dodecaheathenist AND the Dodecagonists. We would help you with that but first: we would have helped you if you hadn't started to KILL US, and second: you are already in a different timeline and any attemps at making a crossover will be met with a swift C&D letter from the official CoC lawyers.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Kommando, realizing the need to be active on two fronts, immediately begins plotting and planning. Who would he send to handle the task of fighting foes elsewhere?

If it's any help, I am willing to send over a spare shitbot to perform vigorous jazz hands if you think it will help.

Kommando sent forth his minion, the Jester Ludibrium, to handle anything going on in Overworld, meanwhile, he had come to the dodecagon.

"THIS!!! FIGHT!!! IS!!!!! OVER, DEVIL!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Kommando shouted as he struck the first blow.

Above, back in the mortal plane, everything was seemingly quiet. Birds chirped, Squirrels leaped from tree to tree and the Circle Cult was busy rebuilding what was left of the smoldering crater they once called a temple. Everything was peaceful and quiet for once despite the ruinous state of the city. Then, suddenly, completely out of nowhere, but from everywhere at once, a primal, psychotic, rage-filled yet oddly celebratory scream. Nobody knew what it meant, who's scream it was or where it came from, but one thing was for sure: whatever it was, something would soon be upon the world…

Meanwhile, a certain joker had some particularly labyrinthine jests to purvey…

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Kommando sent forth his minion, the Jester Ludibrium, to handle anything going on in Overworld, meanwhile, he had come to the dodecagon.

"THIS!!! FIGHT!!! IS!!!!! OVER, DEVIL!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Kommando shouted as he struck the first blow.

Above, back in the mortal plane, everything was seemingly quiet. Birds chirped, Squirrels leaped from tree to tree and the Circle Cult was busy rebuilding what was left of the smoldering crater they once called a temple. Everything was peaceful and quiet for once despite the ruinous state of the city. Then, suddenly, completely out of nowhere, but from everywhere at once, a primal, psychotic, rage-filled yet oddly celebratory scream. Nobody knew what it meant, who's scream it was or where it came from, but one thing was for sure: whatever it was, something would soon be upon the world…

Meanwhile, a certain joker had some particularly labyrinthine jests to purvey…

The dodecagon explodes, turning into 10 triangular glass shards which shoot at Kaijin with bullet speed. An amorphous blob emerges from the ground, struggling, resisting the ability to have any curves whatsoever. Reforming from the hot stony ground, it assumes a shape with 12 edges and corners.

Back in the overworld…

Did you hear that? The scream, it wasn’t one of the ones from hell, but that means…
it came from somewhere in the overworld. It seems to be everywhere yet nowhere, almost as if the one with that voice is intentionally obscuring its origin. Whatever it is, it can’t be good

Circle Cultists everywhere had been struck with the strangest of bad luck, at first it was simple things, such as important items like keys and phones going missing inexplicably, but then they started finding themselves encountering increasingly unusual, yet admittedly hilarious, physical accidents ranging from tripping down stairs while holding something messy, to falling all the way from their homes to their workplaces and bouncing off of everything they hit as if they were pinballs. Every time it happened somebody swore that they very briefly heard the sound of faint laughter.

Ludibrium sat on the rooftops, waiting for his next victim to fall into his trap. The Circle Cultist stepped out of his apartment building and into his car. He stopped for a second and looked at a note Ludibrium had left in the driver's seat stating not to look in the trunk of his car. The man suddenly looked worried and proceeded to disobey the note out of curiosity, finding nothing in the trunk of his car, the man then looked relieved, albeit confused. He then started up his car like normal and began driving to his job, nothing seemed amiss until when he went to make a turn, the car suddenly disobeyed and journeyed off on a seemingly random and chaotic route. It swerved and drifted through traffic and after a while, it stopped. When the man had recollected himself and calmed down, he started looking at his surroundings. The car had stopped in a strange alley, the man attempted to start it again, but all the fuel had been used up by the car's possessed antics. Stepping out of the car, the man was immediately treated to the discovery that the ground, although appearing to be concrete, was actually a soft, elastic material that sunk as soon as he stepped on it. Plummeting down what must have been at least 50 ft., the man was suddenly thrown back up and into the air by the ground. Landing on another bouncy section of ground, the man was slung into a brick wall that bounced him into another unsuspectingly bouncy brick wall. The man was bounced and tossed around town until he flew through the window of his workplace. He stood up and screamed due to the overwhelming confusion of what had just happened to him, but then it dawned on him… somehow, while being rebounded off of every surface known to man, his clothes had been changed from his typical and standard office clothes to a hysterically nonsensical looking pink and yellow polka-dotted shirt, a bib with a crudely drawn dinosaur on it, purple and green parachute pants, a conical hat reading "Happy Christmas of July!" and an absurdly large pair of shoes that made a highly obnoxious rubber chicken sound with ever step taken. The man, soul crushed, mind flayed and will dissolved, weakly shuffled to his cubicle, where he sat down at began his work for the day. Ludibrium become consumed with bouts of wild cackling at his jest, the reality-warper savored ever chortle, chuckle and giggle that leaped from his throat. The bells and whistles adorning his clothes echoed his laughter as they jostled up and down, Ludibrium turned to his accomplice, who had just teleported inside an air conditioning unit, obliterating in the process.

"Did you see that, Sourire? He was even more destroyed inside than the one that fell for the old hallucinatory Nuclear Apocolypse trick!" Laughed out Ludibrium.

Sourire nodded and sat down. "What about the Circle Cult's temple? What did you need me to do again?" She asked. Ludibrium merely stared at the reader and led Sourire out of view and began to explain: "Well… you see, you're part is to…"

(This is just filler for until Soup King's big post comes out. Then we can get to what everyone's screaming about.)

(Since Kaijin is just messing around doing whatever…)
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Quiet_boi had finally woken up, after about 24 hours of being unconceus he got up, with cramps all over his body and markings of the beach chair which became his only resting place during that time "Ooowww, my head" said Quiet_boi while suffering the worst hangover anyone could suffer, he went to the temple's kitchen and took some painkillers from the first aid kit on the wall, then, a unique smell caught his attention, it was the smell of coffee and pancakes prepared to perfection, Quiet_boi's vision was still obscured from nearly suffering from alcohol poisoning so he barely could see the figure that was making those pancakes. he thought it was none other than the church's intern Sam, so, wishful for human companionship he approached the person and held it's shoulder and softly spoke "good day, sunshine" then Quiet_boi realized that the figure's shoulder was, rather cold, then he stood in shock as he saw who was wearing that frilly white apron, it was Soup King #96 who manage to dodge frontline recruitment by giving a properly signed medical excuse, which he forged, "sorry, but your princess is in another castle" the robot jokingly said "W-where is Sam?" said Quiet_boi with a genuely concerned sounding tone, "she's at the clock tower, you perv. I'll tell #1 that you dared to touch ne without authorization" responded the machine and when Quiet_boi asked for pancakes and coffee #96 tried to hand him a mug of coffee and a plate of pancakes, which #96 swiftly dropped to the ground "That was for making me wear that dress, i should have told you that it wasn't my favourite color" Acolyte Jamie was quick to arrive at the scene and ask "What in the world is happening here?" and just before brother boi had the chance to explain he was interrupted by #96 who covered his mouth with one hand and handed Jamie a plate of pancakes and a mug of coffee, both served on a larger silver plate, "nothing" the robot said " it was just Quiet_boi stuff suffering from his hangover" "really? poor dude, hope he gets better" said Jamie with a warm sounding tone. #96 looked at Quiet_boi and whispered to him "next thing that'll happend to you will have to do with your keys and upholstered forniture" Quiet_boi could only stand in shock, not because of the threat but because Sam was ringing the church's bells and caused his headache to get much, much worse. With anger and frustration, Quiet_boi began to drench the pancakes in the floor with the spilled coffee and began to shove them on #96's facial brass plate, much to the robot's confusion considering that he dosen't have a mouth, "i'll just, uuhh, finish eating quickly so i can wake brother Olors and ask him to help with the backyard's garden" said acolyte Jamie as he fruitlessly tries to enjoy his breakfast with an almost fruatrating level of confusion

Last edited May 07, 2021 at 11:48PM EDT

(So, small question for Soup King? What's the progress on the next big post? I'm kind of waiting so I can make my next thing a response to it. Sorry if I sound impatient, I'm just wondering because I'm planning on unleashing some high-octane stuff after my response to it is done and I'm trying to gauge how much time I have to finish a couple more OC portraits for it.)

Last edited May 10, 2021 at 10:33PM EDT

Well I'll probably get it done after my night shifts have finished if I feel like it on Thursday.

However, since I'll be spending the vast majority of Thursday asleep, it might be Friday or Saturday that it's done by if I feel like working on it that day.

It's half done and it's mostly talking, so there's not too many fiddly bits to do; but it's still going to be 6-8 hours of work yet; so we'll have to see.

Progress update:

So because I'm a procrastinating fuck, I've only managed to get a little work done so far.

However, it was the fiddliest bits and the rest is just flipping between different characters and talking apart from one scene.

I'll try and get it done during the next few days whilst I'm on early shifts, but I won't guarantee anything.

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